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These are the Rules of WAR. This was written as a way of explaining some of
our local lingo to a list newbie. His question was what is an LB, and
this response followed. It pretty much sums up our list (and probably many
other bike riding lists too).
LB == Land Barge
Term for big cumbersome "It is not a sports bike" thing on two wheels.
Anything from an FJ upwards gets classified.
Basically everyone on the list rides one or more of
Land Barge
Stinky Smoky Thing
Harleys
Chook Chaser
LOUD exhausted murdercycle
Welcome to our part of Hel^H^H^Hutopia.
In order to feel at home, please keep the following checklist of
essential items that must be covered within the first 24 hours or so of
you delurking:
- Prepared to swear - the more people included/offended in the one hit
the better
- Have your own (preferably contradicting _everyone_ else) opinion
- Abuse pleece[1] and dog rooters (hi Shane) and bandi-cootes.
- Abuse silly welsh gits
- Complain about speeding tickets
- Purchase one of
- TRX
- FJ1200
- CBR900 (2000 model only qualifies)
- Send jokes that we've heard all 100 times (that includes using HTML
mail)
- Send 30 pictures as attachments to your email to the list of your
favourite pet, bike or car
- Never ever discuss something related to bikes
- Offer to lead at least two midweek rides[2] preferably at the same
time but from two different locations on the same day
- Comment on how much you like McDonalds Coffee and that's why you start
your rides from there.
- Get the 6 different gregs, 3 brads and twelve garys all exactly sorted
out and known by face. You get bonus marks for being another Jason to
add to the group.
- Talk about how front number plates on bikes are a good idea
- Crash your bike on the first ride (bonus points for doing it on a
track day at Wanneroo)
- Talk about how wonderful WRXs are and that they can beat any bike in a
drag
- Scoff at why anyone needs a bike over 250cc (err......)
- Loose that sense of humour you have been cultivating for years
- Brush up on Monty Python and obscure movie reference quotes
[1] and then smile at them nicely as we have quite a lot of them on the
list and they come on rides and show us nice toys etc.
[2] Minimum ride route requirements are: twisty city streets -
preferably with dead ends. Lots of roundabouts/speedhump so we can ride
over them. Assorted collection of obstacles like live Police Cars and
cute furry kittens. Through residential suburbs would be best as we wish
to offend as many people as possible with loud exhausts. Of course there
is a sliding bonus points scale for how ritzy the suburb and how many
BMW/Merc car alarms can be set off in the one ride.
Oh, and I forgot - make complaints about strange guys with non-natural
hair colouring.
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